Long term Relationships

As a continuation from "The True One", I wanted to delve into the area of the long term relationships. As we all get older, we get tired of going in and out of relationships. We tend to look for some more serious that could possibly lead into marriage. But one thing we are always wondering is how we can successfully transition from the "one and off" relationship to the long term relationship.

One thing to consider when looking for a long term relationship is trust. How much do you trust your partner? Can you be away from your partner for a year and still trust them? Can you see them talking to the opposite sex and not worry about anything? Do you trust that whatever they do with their phone is not pertaining to cheating? If your answer to all of these questions is yes, then you are most likely ready to get into a long term relationship. Trust is something that takes a long time to build, but just a few minutes to collapse. That is why you must be sure you can give your partner 100% of your trust and they will give it back to you.

Another thing to consider is the goals you two share. You have to understand that when getting into long term relationships, the couple in question have to lay out their goals. Both long-term and short-term. It could be educational goals (when you hope to graduate), financial goals( how you hope to take care of each other), marriage goals(when you hope to get married), or even travel goals (when to take a vacation with your partner). It is very to lay out all these goals so that the couple can see where their life is going and how to adequately adjust. One reason why long term relationships don't work is because no future goals are laid. Therefore, there's no direction in the relationship.

One more thing to consider is communication. How effectively do you and your partner communicate? Do you communicate like best friends? or like strangers at the dentist? You have to evaluate how best you guys communicate. Sometimes building an effective relationship requires hours and hours of communication. This allows the couple to establish a "good friendship type" relationship (Will discuss this in my next blog).

If all these aspects are good in your relationship, it is highly possible it will last and lead into something really special. If you have doubts in any of these aspects, do not fear. It is possible to iron out all the differences with your partner and still have a lasting relationship.

Ciao y'all

"The True One"

What's up guys? Been a while since I made a post. Sincere Apologies.

Today, I want to make an extension to my previous post about "The one". As some of you may recall, I mentioned that "The One" isn't just one person in the whole word who you are truly meant to be with. There are several if not hundreds of people who are perfectly compatible with you. But before I go into the main topic for today, I wanna make a little tweak to my previous notion on "The One".

Though there are several people who can be compatible with you, I've come to notice that not all those compatible with you will necessarily be the ones truly meant for you.  Many might work out at the beginning, but along the way, things might break down. So I've come to understand that there's that one person who you can truly justify to be what I call "The True one". And now seeing that many people are looking for a serious relationship, so finding "The True one" would be one of the most important things to get done .

So how do you know when someone is "The True One" ? I feel "The True One" someone who you constantly think about (for starters). Someone who your heart beats for, who your heart yearns for. Someone who can put a smile on your face every single time you talk to them. Someone who makes you a better person, building up yourself for long term goals. Someone who understands you at your worse and can appreciate you in your dark moments. Someone who makes you see a brighter picture of the world even when everything around you seems so dark. Someone who you can be thousands of miles away from and still love them as if they are 1 feet away. Someone who you see a bright future with and can forgive their flaws. Someone who you are very comfortable with. Someone who you can express your every feelings to and not be afraid of judgement.

These are just some of the things that make you notice that you have "The True one" . If you se all  that and more in someone, I implore you to never let that person go. Someone who can fill in all those criteria is someone worth spending the rest of your life with.

Ciao.....

The elusive phrase - "The One"

What's up guys ??? It's been a while since I brought out a blog. Frankly I attribute it to laziness and procrastination. However, I'm going to be resuming with a full weekend blog event.

I'm gonna start this event with something that everyone believes in which shouldn't be so. That thing is called "The one" . "The one" is a phrase referred to a belief that there is one person who is truly meant for another person.  For some reason they believe in the over  7 billion people living on earth, there is one person who they are supposed to spend the rest of their life with.

I'm here to say that is false.

There's no such thing as "The one" . It is merely a phrase used to justify a lack of relationship in your life. Many people on the face of the earth would be highly compatible with you. It is up to you to find them. They are scattered all over the world and your quest is to find them .

But how do we find "the one"? Tune in for the next blog soon

ciao.

Mutual Feelings

What's up guys? New week, new blog.


This is one area that gets me everytime I talk about it. It's the fact that many times there's one criteria we make before we date someone. And that is having the same feelings the other person has for you spontaneously.

I'm not going to say that this is wrong. In every relationship it is paramount that the feelings are mutual. But for some people, the feeling must be instant.  It must be present the minute they set their eyes on the person.
That's the wrong way to go about it. My philosophy is that everyone should give everyone "the benefit of a doubt." Make yourself wonder what it would be to actually like this person.

There is a fine line between lust and like. People mostly confuse both the terms and feel that every situation should be " love at first sight." But that should not be the case.

I believe it's only after a month of meeting and conversing with the person that you'll truly know if you like the person or not. Feelings don't just suffice in minutes, it's a gradual process.

Therefore, I leave my readers with one statement. GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE.

Ciao.

Those friendzone signals

Wassup guys!!! New week, new blog.

For a few weeks, I have been taking about friend zones and how awful they are for many people. We have all hoped that we never enter such a complicated zone but many times we don't even know that the actions we are taking are leading us into that zone.

With this problem , the purpose of today's blog has been materialized.  There are many ways people show friendzone signals, but I will mention the common ones.

Being there as a friend: Some people have the intentions of dating someone but in an attempt of trying too hard, the person does things a friend would do. Things such as following them everywhere, being there 24/7 to answer phone calls, always offering to do stuff for them ,etc.

There is a fine line between being nice and being in a potential friend zone. Being able to know when to set limits gives off the vibe that you wanna be nice but at the same time you intend on dating.

So, the next time you decide to pursue someone, set your limits. Don't be too friendly, but at the same time don't come off being too withdrawing. It might be hard to accomplish that, but with time(rather from my next blog), you will be able to get the hang of things.

Ciao till tomorrow .

Now.....

The silent rule

Recently, there has been a rule that apparently girls have when it comes to relationships; two girls that are friends cannot date their ex boyfriends. I first thought it was a joke until I confirmed it from a lot of my female viewers.

However, because I like to be neutral, I have two opinions on this rule.

1st opinion: I see a bit of truth in this. It creates tension between the friends.

2nd opinion: I think this rule is a bunch of BS. Everyone is entitled to date whosoever he/she pleases. It's all about the connection (i.e the love) , such a law should not prohibit a relationship.

Now, I know a lot of people would side with either of my opinions. But to each a compromise, I would say everything depends on the situation. If you are in a position where being in that relationship would create tension then the best option would definitely be not to go into it. But I know that there are friends out there who wouldn't care about this and thus, the obvious option would be to go ahead with the relationship


In a nutshell, it's all about the situation. Evaluate it and know the best option to go with.

I don't believe that a silent rule should reign supreme .

Ciao.

An Indepth take on long distance

Alright guys, I hope my viewers in Nigeria had a fun day since it was a public holiday. To my viewers anywhere else,  how was school? LOL.

After that brief blog on Nigeria, I  decided to go in depth into the issue of long distance relationships. It may seem I made long distance relationships look  easy to maintain, but in reality it is the hardest type.
We automatically feel that long distance relationships will be the most faithful, trustworthy and abiding(probably the couple made that vow). But this is a common misconception that has been painted in our minds for many years. There will definitely be trials and tribulations along the way, it happens in every relationship. But the difference between it happening in a long distance or close distance relationship is very distinct.

A couple who has successfully gone through a period of long distance would be able to show two main traits;

1. Ability to forgive irregardless of the offence
2. Ability to appreciate times together and times apart

 
  These aforementioned points are definitely traits needed to maintain  a serious relationship that could eventually end up in marriage.


I know marriage is not what you guys would be thinking of at the moment, but I know apart from the obvious Casanovas, everyone always longs for that serious relationship. Not just some fling.

However, love is the prevailing factor in all relationships, regardless of it being long distance or close distance. Love is the bond that keeps two people together. If you are 3000 miles or 2 miles apart, that bond should still be present.

So I implore my viewers, when ever you are faced with an option of long distance, don't just disregard it. Evaluate it, see if the love connection is strong. This could be a way to determine if you guys are truly right for each other.

PS: Next blog, I will be bringing up another issue that is plaguing teen life. It's called "How do you know you are giving out friend-zone signals?"

Be sure to log in for that soon. CIAO