Finding Contempt in our relationships (2)

Alright guys, it seems that i did not elaborate more on  my previous blog. So i decided to write a sequel to finalize issues raised on this topic. It’s gonna be a lot short, but every information counts.

I just want shed a little light on my previous blog. I basically generalized the concept of contempt and i raised a point on what has been going on in that area. But as i reviewed the blog, i realize i didn't shed any light on how to really find contempt in our relationships.

When we enter relationships, we have expectations. Things that they want out of their relationships. Its mostly called a “standard”. Now many times , our partners would never meet these expectations and thus we resort to finding people who do. But one thing to understand is no one can ever meet a person’s expectations, it’s just not realistic. We basically have to compromise on all levels to achieve “equilibrium satisfaction”.

Equilibrium satisfaction ( my very own term) is a situation where two people in a relationship have forgone all excess standards and have reached a common understanding in order to move forward in the relationship. The  problem in society today is that people have not fully understood this concept in order to achieve it.

In order to understand this concept, couple must be able to express all their standards straightforwardly and not deviate from it. Then be able to reach a compromise which must be followed in a strict. I propose this as the only way to have the “equilibrium satisfaction” in any relationship.

And so i conclude with this, no relationship is perfect. Everything is a compromise, we have to forgo excesses to achieve a cooperative relationship . We can’t have our cake and eat it.

Ciao.

Finding Contempt In Our Relationships (1)

It’s a beautiful day to write blogs. Waking up in the morning and just getting a spur to write something creative is just the beauty of my blog. I’d like to wish every a Happy Sunday and once again  I apologize for releasing this blog later than scheduled.

Continuing from my previous blog , i have decided to branch to bring in something that is very common in our society today. Nowadays, we see in a lot of relationships that people are never satisfied with their partners and just resort to cheating. This is as a result of a lack of contempt today.

Before I dive into this topic, i’d like to elaborate on the concept of contempt. The feeling of contempt means to be satisfied with what ever you have in whatever situation you are faced with, be it rich or poor. This concept pertains to all works of life, including our relationships. A lot of people today just jump into relationships and in the end cause devastation due to the fact that they don’t have feelings for their partner and thus divert them to another. This is very appalling and me wonder why people get into relationships in the first place.

I do understand that we have standards on what we find in a partner, but these standards can never be fully met because no one is perfect, and thus when we enter relationships we always have to make a compromise to be someone that is close to their standards. But in this century , many people do not understand that fact.

Being in any relationship requires you to be committed and trustworthy. Going into a relationship  is like signing a contract, you adhere to the terms and never devoid it. We should understand the compromise entailed before going into a relationship. There are so many ways to get whatever a person wants without Defining the relationship (DTR).

Thus I implore all my readers to be committed in any relationship. Never waver. And in the where you want to, be a gentleman or gentlewoman and give a clean breakup. Nothing is more painful than seeing other people whilst in a relationship. It’s just maddening.

Commitment is key here, never let go of that.

Auf Wiedersehen (good bye).

First Impressions

First of all, I would like to celebrate with all of who passed through valentine's day successful . Most of y’all were happy while i was conversing with you, meaning your relationships are still intact. Lol . Now that the climax of the whole month is over, it’s time to return back to the outlines of my blog as aforementioned in blog #1.

For many years, we have come to understand that first impressions in every encounter are the basis of whether to continue with a relationship or categorize it as an “epic fail” . Now, I am here to strongly dispute that fact. Though, first impressions might count, they should never be a basis of any encounter , as our impressions of a person will always change.

Why do you think a lot of bad relationships happen in this millennium? It’s because a lot of people show false promising first impressions on the first day, and yet turn out to be something else in subsequent encounters. That is why players can never be caught, because every time they meet a new person, they look as if they are boyfriend/girlfriend material and you just blindly fall in. And in the end, you’re the only person that gets hurt. In reciprocate form, if someone was to have a bad first impression on you, then you would think that’s how the person is, and thus try to evade the person. But sadly, even for more generations to come, we will still be  susceptible to the first impressions.

I’m not saying that we have psychic abilities that would enable us to determine whether a person is good or not, I’m saying that asides first impressions, we can continue to have different impressions on someone as subsequent encounters are made. Therefore, we get to truly know a person only when we exhaustively understood everything about them.

Thus, I implore all my readers to not analyze someone on the first impression. A lot of things could have happened to that person before the encounter, so you have no moral justification to diss the person. Rather try to establish more encounters and understand their behaviors, moods, dressing attitude, etc. It is only at this time when you would be able to understand whether this is the kind of person you want to go on dates with, share info with, etc. This can also be the time when you truly know if someone on the first impression seems loving and kind, and in subsequent encounters, has shown his/her true colors. After all, all what glitters is not gold.

First impressions are always there, try not to think on them.

Ciao.

What's the True Essence of February 14th?

Once again, a big thank you to all my readers who continue to follow my blog. You are basically the reason I get up in the morning and write.

 As I have mentioned in the previous blog, this is the love month and tomorrow is going to be the climax of this month, The St. Valentines Day. This day is supposedly a day where couples express their true love for each other; giving cards, chocolates, romantic getaways, dinners etc. It’s the time when the females get so elevated and the males, usually depressed as they would have to spend substantial amounts of cash to treat their ladies right, LOL. Frankly, i feel that this day will never show true love, not in a million years. 

Love can't be displayed in a day, a lot of things cloud our judgement on this day and thus we fail to understand the true meaning of love, instead we cling unto the "what i can get?" phrase . Let me ask you this, why should valentine’s day be the day we take our girlfriends and spouses out? Why is valentine’s day the day we send them cards and chocolates telling them how much we love them? Can’t all this be done on other days? Ponder on that.

We could as much as take our girlfriends and spouses out every week , send them cards and chocolates every day and take them on romantic getaways anytime in the year. Why does it have to be this day? 

A few days ago, I was discussing with my colleague and i raised up these same questions aforementioned. She said people mostly use the day to make up for what they couldn't do with their spouses through the year. My response was a light chuckle which brought about a sense of utter amusement. To the females, do you think that your man can make up for not telling you he loves  you? for not taking out once in a while? for not sending you gifts , in one day? I think the answer has been inferred. 

Although i wish everyone has a good valentine’s day, ( since the election is not till next month, lol) I don't us to make it a big deal. Let’s view everyday as a day to celebrate a couple’s love . Let’s not hold the day and expect things and in the end be disappointed . Let’s hold the whole year in expectation and re evaluate your love at the end of the year. Not 45 days in the year when there are still 320 days of love showing. For those who will go out, have fun. For those who don’t, still have fun. Even for those who don't have partners, treat valentine’s day as any other day in the year to show love. 

Ciao

PS: Thanks to my insightful partner. Hours ago i was clueless on what to write, But she helped me immensely and thus I appreciate her. 

True Love. A reality? or Fiction?

In the spirit of the love season, after briefly analyzing the concept of love, I have decided to venture deep into the understanding of true love, which everyone thinks is a common thing to have in a standard relationship. In this new millennia, there has been a lot misconceptions about true love. Most people envision the true love pertaining to a typical Disney Movie or the series shown on “Telemundo” . But in the real world, our expectations are far from the realities. 

From my perspective, i think that true love is a reality to an extent and not to the way people see it as . Most of us think that true love is unconditional love. But let me ask you this, can anyone in this world love unconditionally? I don't think. We see true love as something that couples could do anything for whilst turning a blind eye to. This just baffles me all the time

True love, from my perspective is a feeling that has several boundaries attached to it. We can never overlook anything whilst in love. The period we are in love is truly the time we keep a more vigilant mind than ever. We have to understand that we make this “true love” of a thing too superficial and thus causes several unforseen evil to occur. For example, in the case of “Romeo and Juliet” , the famous classical love tale of all generation , they thought that they were “truly in Love” thus overlooking everything which resulted in their death. This scenario can be most likened to every “supposed true love” relationship . 

Thus, in conclusion, I implore all my readers to be vigilant in this period of love. We can never be too lackadaisical in our relationships. We should always take the upper hand and ensure a blissful relationship.

Aurevoir Mes amis.

P.S : the writing of this blog would not have been possible without the help of a good companion of mine. She was able to provide a lot of information used in this blog and thus i applaud her.

Also, as an addition to my writing prowess, i will be adding a random blog every sunday where i talk about random but real life topics. Promises to be insightful as this…..

The Concept of "Love"

 In this month of February, we have the most celebrated holiday of all time. The St. Valentine’s day. And thus, this has prompted me to kick off this blog with the topic of Love. “Love” is something that cannot be fully emphasized in any relationship and scenario, and thus i have decided to take a deep insight into this matter which will run through the month. 

Now before we can fully understand the female mind, we first have to understand the concept of the word called “love”. Frankly, i think “love” is the most used and misconceptualized word i have come across in my modern day vocabulary. In the 21st century, “love” has degraded in terms of it’s weight and effect as compared to probably the 20th century and back. 

It baffles me whenever i hear someone say “ I love you”  because obviously in this modern age, no one is fully understanding the consequences and actions taken to support such a phrase. Which obviously should carry a lot of emotions. We just say it like we say good morning on a regular basis, which is obviously BAD!!!. Why is it that it’s this century that we mostly hear of breakups and divorces? It’s because the average “John Doe" can be going around telling every “Jane Doe” that he loves her, but yet do you think that a guy would be attached to more than one girl if he actually loved any? Certainly not. 

Love is supposed to be a rare thing, and when it occurs , every part of our body is supposed to feel a “tingling” sensation which spurs up other emotions (which will be discussed later). We make “love” today seem mediocre and of no value as many would say “ I love you” just to get something in return . I call this “Beneficial Love” , a kind of Love that is solely based on what can be gotten rather than what can be felt. And this is sadly the case in 60-85% of our relationships. Most times i hear people mention the popular phrase “Love is blind” to conceal all the revealing factors of a “bad” relationship. To an extent, yes, love is blind, but not stupid. We tend to basically love people for their outward appearances, regardless of their values and what they stand for. This can never in a million years be “love” , it just can’t be. 

Thus, in a nutshell, I implore all my viewers to search within their deeper self. “Love” should be translated into a beautiful feeling that is strongly felt on all levels. Let us please not just consider the outwards, but also the inwards. Let us be sure that whatever relationship we get into should be out of a feeling and not an observation. Let us bring back “love” as a deep emotion and not as a superficial and unrealistic thing. 

The future of relationships depends  on this.

Aurevior till next time.

I’m sure that if you are reading this, then you must have adhered to the link sent to you. I applaud you for that. First, of all i’d like to welcome all of you into the new month, not long ago we were celebrating the year and now we are in it’s second month. How fast!!!. 

For many years, we have all wondered how the female mind works, how she relates to the environment, how she loves, how she hates, how she rejects things and  so on. People say it is hard to decode the female. But after six years of close observation, I say YES!!!! It’s very possible to understand how the female works and i have decided to pass my knowledge to people who are willing to share the experience i have, thus bringing about the creation of this blog.

On this blog, i will be going in deep into the female mind. Everything she does and everything she thinks about. For the male readers, you might ask what this has to do with you? Now when you fully understand the female mind, you would be able to hit a home run with all the girls you thought you would never have a chance with and certainly it would certainly reduce fights and “beefing” between couples and friends alike.

This blog will be updated every week, but if the demand is more, i would be updating more days in the week and to extreme cases, every day!!! I know that something like this has been clamored for and thus i decided to step up and take the lead. The full main text of this blog will be available here on blogger.com, I’m also gonna be creating little snippets of this on my BBM channel and whatsapp group. Other social networks will be announced in the coming blogs.

Please join me as we go into the extraordinary mind of the female.

Ciao.