Friendzones

Lol, this word gets me all the time. I mean, What's the origin of this word? and how did it become popuplar? The word is just as complex as it is, but i'm definitely going to break it down.

First of all, what is the meaning of a friend zone? believe it or not, I'm getting this definition from wikipedia (imagine that!!) It means "a platonic relationship (just friends!!) wherein one person, most commonly a man (totally disagree), wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not" . often times people wonder why they are in the friend zone, so i have narrowed it down to ten reasons i have gathered or witnessed over the years;

• You are related, or a scoundrel (most unlikely)
•  You are trying too hard to be cool (mental state of mind)
•  You are not convinced you are meant for each other ( most common out of them all, it's mostly the girls that have this weird feeling that things would go wrong, Lol)
•  You are being too nice ( it's a controversial reason, but i think that being too nice sends off more of a platonic vibe than a relationship vibe. Just the right amount of nice is required)

Basically, those things are the common reasons relationships are platonic. Sometimes, there could be rare reasons which i don't wanna dive into (mainly because they're too long). But all the same, there is a way to get out of the friendzone no matter what situation you're in.

 So therefore, the best ways to get out of a friendzone are;

• Don't wait too long to ask him/her out or you run the risk of being "friend zoned".
• Don't throw yourself at him/her either though. Never a good idea.
• You should flirt, but don't flirt with other people. Make the person in question feel special.
• And lastly, stop giving out the "friendship signals" (that's a blog coming out tomorrow, try to understand it tho) chances are that the other person, because of this has already thought that the idea of being more than friends is off the table and will just stick to being friends.

Now this is what I call a simple guide to the end of friendzones!!

Ciao.

Friendship before relationships.

Usually, I do not release two blogs on the same day. But the spur of information I'm currently processing is just too much to keep in.

Now, from the title you'd basically have a general idea of what i'm going to write. But i'm also a bit sure that elaboration is needed.
In today's world, we have completely eliminated the friendship aspects of relationships. What I mean is that, we just jump from meeting someone to dating the person. We do not pass through the long stage of friendship. Practically, the friendship aspect is a lot of time and people feel that so many things could go wrong and things could be misinterpreted if the intentions to date are not clearly put out. But i'm here to say that the friendship aspect does matter. It helps to build a strong foundation for serious relationships to thrive through any circumstance.
As we all know, being friends means secrets and important things in our lives are being shared, the friendship becomes a sort of "confidant relationship" where each person confides in the other. So, transiting to dating from friendship would be as seamless as possible. There would be more trust and definitely, the love would be as strong as ever.

"Friendships before relationships" is a great approach to reach the ultimate goal.

CIAO.

Assumptions

wow, wow, wow. It's another time to write a blog. April's ending in a few days and as May comes, so comes the new chapter of my blog (*sobs). But hopefully, I will be incorporating my adventures in the female mind into other blogs. Once again, I wanna commend my readers for the continuous growth in pageviews. Without y'all, writing this would just  be in vain.

There's one thing i've noticed in a lot of relationships today. We all ASSUME. Basically what that means is we just take too many things for granted when it comes to being in a relationship. Relationships are all about allocating and committing to a specific amount of attention and time (because let's face it, we can't allocate all the time in the world to one area). This is supposed to be the case, but what i see today is from far that. A lot of couples seem to just be lackadaisical about the important stuff when it comes to issues such as attention and understanding signals.

In the area of attention, as aforementioned, we can't give all the time in the world to our boyfriends or girlfriends. That would be pure  madness. The key to understanding attention is that it's given wholeheartedly when the time comes. Most times we see a nonchalant behavior in this area, and it just signals that the interest in the relationship is dying or dead.
Understanding signals in relationships are very important. We can never say what we feel all the time, but we definitely show it. Either by body movements, mood and even by the words we say. Being in a serious relationship entails us to deduce or critically think about what's happening in the relationship. Most of us don't do that. We just feel that once the people involved accept the relationship, then the hard part is over. But sadly i'm here to say IT IS NOT.

Thus, I implore all my readers to develop a critical eye when dating someone ( if it's serious). The acceptance to date is just a little step, the huge steps come in after that and so we can never get a break.

Critical thinking is key....Ciao

 

The Break Up

Wassup guys, it's been a while since I posted a new blog. It's really saddening that I couldn't post as much as I wanted to (or as much as I implied), but I will be digressing a lot into the final topics which are going to be as applicable as the other blogs I have written. We are well into the month of April and before we know it, May will be rolling in. I very excited to be announcing that I will be closing this chapter of my blog( a bit sad tho) to expand my horizons in other topics such as music, movies, sports, technology etc. I hope that all my readers will continue to follow me and even more to come. Honestly it's the continuous increase in viewers that keeps me writing, BIG UP TO YOU GUYS!!

Now, obviously that's not going to stop me from writing today's blog. In today's world, we see a lot of broken relationships. Be it marriages, engagements, or just the normal and more rampant " boyfriend girlfriend" matter. Some people don't experience it ( lucky bastards) but a majority of us do. The thing is breakups always happen, but what I want to address today is how to alleviate yourself from the euphoria of a broken heart (assuming you truly loved your partner).  Now there are five post breakup stages that happen in life:

1. The shock
2. The Anger
3. The denial
4. The Non-acceptance
5. The Acceptance

Now, let's briefly analyze these stages. The first stage basically happens right after the breakup has occurred. You're usually trying to wrap your head around the fact that the person you once called your boo or bae (lol) is now just the person's name. Its pretty much an unraveling session. The second stage is the one we commonly see in the breakup situation, because there could be many reasons as to why the breakup occurred, be it the guy cheated or there was no more love or the relationship just fizzled out. In any case, you basically get angry and this stage might arguably be the longest of the stages. The third stage is usually a short phase where you're in complete denial, meaning anytime you are asked what happened or if the relationship is still on, you try to evade the question. This stage i can confidently say happens to everyone who goes through this. The non-acceptance stage is where you still can't wrap around the fact that you guys broke up and thus you wanna try to get back together, but this ultimately fails. The final stage is the only point at which you have accept that IT'S OVER and there's nothing you can do. This is the point when you officially move on.

If you do not believe me, evaluate yourself when you were going through the breakup phase and you'll definitely see what i'm talking about. From my perspective, I do believe that if the person you're dating is "the one" (as the white people would call it) then there would be no breakups. Some people believe that if the person is "the one" , then "fate" would bring them back together at an important time in their lives. What ever the case is, whenever a brakeup occurs, the best thing is to pick yourself up and go through these five stages as quick as possible.

After all, "THERE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE SEA" .

Ciao y'all.

The Persistence ones

Alright guys, let me first of all start by welcoming y'all into a new month. Though it's 8 days over due, I just have to continue to reiterate on the fact that the year is speeding past us. Today's blog, though obviously targeted to females, males can derive a thing or two from this.

Nowadays, I have seen that a lot of our female counterparts are set to a default mode called "deny". If you read my previous blog, you would find out that due to circumstantial things, females have no other choice than to guard their hearts and "brutally" scrutinize men. Normally, this would throw us males off and we would look for an easier catch. But in this face of adversity, there are still some determined guys who are willing to go through any length to get a girl. I call these people "The persistent ones."

Before I digress into this topic, I would like to shed a little light on the word persistence. Persistence means to be firm or have an obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. This clearly hits the nail on the head because it outlines every single thing that is attributed to the persistent ones. I feel this is a very good characteristic for every guy, but the baffling thing is that females can misinterpret persistence for creepiness. Though there is a very fine line between being persistent or being creepy, I want the ladies out there to know to that most of the persistent guys they encounter are truly persistent and not creepy.

Just to be sure, how would you be able to differentiate between these two characteristics? It's simple! Understanding their movement. Truly persistent males would not do anything to hurt the female in question nor anyone in order to get to her . Creepy guys on the other hand would want to go to any lengths to get someone even if it includes hurting someone. 

Frankly, I implore my readers (especially the females) to stay clear of these creepy guys. And as for the persistent ones, give it a good go and see what happens. Circumstances show that a persistent guy will not hurt you before and during the relationship. 

Ultimately, it is basically your discretion.

Ciao.