The elusive phrase - "The One"

What's up guys ??? It's been a while since I brought out a blog. Frankly I attribute it to laziness and procrastination. However, I'm going to be resuming with a full weekend blog event.

I'm gonna start this event with something that everyone believes in which shouldn't be so. That thing is called "The one" . "The one" is a phrase referred to a belief that there is one person who is truly meant for another person.  For some reason they believe in the over  7 billion people living on earth, there is one person who they are supposed to spend the rest of their life with.

I'm here to say that is false.

There's no such thing as "The one" . It is merely a phrase used to justify a lack of relationship in your life. Many people on the face of the earth would be highly compatible with you. It is up to you to find them. They are scattered all over the world and your quest is to find them .

But how do we find "the one"? Tune in for the next blog soon

ciao.

Mutual Feelings

What's up guys? New week, new blog.


This is one area that gets me everytime I talk about it. It's the fact that many times there's one criteria we make before we date someone. And that is having the same feelings the other person has for you spontaneously.

I'm not going to say that this is wrong. In every relationship it is paramount that the feelings are mutual. But for some people, the feeling must be instant.  It must be present the minute they set their eyes on the person.
That's the wrong way to go about it. My philosophy is that everyone should give everyone "the benefit of a doubt." Make yourself wonder what it would be to actually like this person.

There is a fine line between lust and like. People mostly confuse both the terms and feel that every situation should be " love at first sight." But that should not be the case.

I believe it's only after a month of meeting and conversing with the person that you'll truly know if you like the person or not. Feelings don't just suffice in minutes, it's a gradual process.

Therefore, I leave my readers with one statement. GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE.

Ciao.

Those friendzone signals

Wassup guys!!! New week, new blog.

For a few weeks, I have been taking about friend zones and how awful they are for many people. We have all hoped that we never enter such a complicated zone but many times we don't even know that the actions we are taking are leading us into that zone.

With this problem , the purpose of today's blog has been materialized.  There are many ways people show friendzone signals, but I will mention the common ones.

Being there as a friend: Some people have the intentions of dating someone but in an attempt of trying too hard, the person does things a friend would do. Things such as following them everywhere, being there 24/7 to answer phone calls, always offering to do stuff for them ,etc.

There is a fine line between being nice and being in a potential friend zone. Being able to know when to set limits gives off the vibe that you wanna be nice but at the same time you intend on dating.

So, the next time you decide to pursue someone, set your limits. Don't be too friendly, but at the same time don't come off being too withdrawing. It might be hard to accomplish that, but with time(rather from my next blog), you will be able to get the hang of things.

Ciao till tomorrow .

Now.....

The silent rule

Recently, there has been a rule that apparently girls have when it comes to relationships; two girls that are friends cannot date their ex boyfriends. I first thought it was a joke until I confirmed it from a lot of my female viewers.

However, because I like to be neutral, I have two opinions on this rule.

1st opinion: I see a bit of truth in this. It creates tension between the friends.

2nd opinion: I think this rule is a bunch of BS. Everyone is entitled to date whosoever he/she pleases. It's all about the connection (i.e the love) , such a law should not prohibit a relationship.

Now, I know a lot of people would side with either of my opinions. But to each a compromise, I would say everything depends on the situation. If you are in a position where being in that relationship would create tension then the best option would definitely be not to go into it. But I know that there are friends out there who wouldn't care about this and thus, the obvious option would be to go ahead with the relationship


In a nutshell, it's all about the situation. Evaluate it and know the best option to go with.

I don't believe that a silent rule should reign supreme .

Ciao.

An Indepth take on long distance

Alright guys, I hope my viewers in Nigeria had a fun day since it was a public holiday. To my viewers anywhere else,  how was school? LOL.

After that brief blog on Nigeria, I  decided to go in depth into the issue of long distance relationships. It may seem I made long distance relationships look  easy to maintain, but in reality it is the hardest type.
We automatically feel that long distance relationships will be the most faithful, trustworthy and abiding(probably the couple made that vow). But this is a common misconception that has been painted in our minds for many years. There will definitely be trials and tribulations along the way, it happens in every relationship. But the difference between it happening in a long distance or close distance relationship is very distinct.

A couple who has successfully gone through a period of long distance would be able to show two main traits;

1. Ability to forgive irregardless of the offence
2. Ability to appreciate times together and times apart

 
  These aforementioned points are definitely traits needed to maintain  a serious relationship that could eventually end up in marriage.


I know marriage is not what you guys would be thinking of at the moment, but I know apart from the obvious Casanovas, everyone always longs for that serious relationship. Not just some fling.

However, love is the prevailing factor in all relationships, regardless of it being long distance or close distance. Love is the bond that keeps two people together. If you are 3000 miles or 2 miles apart, that bond should still be present.

So I implore my viewers, when ever you are faced with an option of long distance, don't just disregard it. Evaluate it, see if the love connection is strong. This could be a way to determine if you guys are truly right for each other.

PS: Next blog, I will be bringing up another issue that is plaguing teen life. It's called "How do you know you are giving out friend-zone signals?"

Be sure to log in for that soon. CIAO

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO NIGERIA

So at the time I write this blog, it would be a great day . The independence day of my great country, Nigeria. Now I know I was supposed to elaborate on the issue of long distance relationships, but screw it. Nigeria is worth talking about .

Many people currently living in Nigeria have one dream, TO LEAVE . But for many years, I have continued to wonder why people would think of that. Possibly with a few issues such as ;

1. An epileptic power supply
2. Disreagrd of social amenities
3. The high level of corruption which forms as the crux of the previously aforementioned points.

 But my question to y'all is: if we all leave Nigeria, who will be there to put her on the right path towards success? Many people say Nigeria is irredeemable but I say Nigeria is like a blank canvass ready for that good artist to create beautiful artwork. There are many opportunities for our generation to become millionaires, billionaires, and leaders of this country.

Many would look at this and call me a hypocrite for not being in Nigeria at the moment. But best believe, I will be back to motherland to contribute to it's future greatness.

It took America centuries to become the country it is today. Should Nigeria's success happen overnight? Think on this.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO NIGERIA. Greater years ahead.

 

Long Distance relationships

Hello hello hello!!!!!! Been a while, basically took a summer break. There's a whole lot of things to talk about , so why not kick off with an issue plaguing everyone's mind , Long distance relationships. It's currently the start of a new school year and all the high school hook ups will be splitting ( some might go to the same school, lucky!!) . But there's a serious deliberation tat goes on between a couple; whether they have maintain a long distance relationship.

I have had many arguments with my female viewers and most if not all of them are against long distance relationships. Here are the mains  reasons why;


1. Chances of the guy cheating are higher
2. Seeing each other would be next to impoosible


Though these are somewhat tangible reasons, I dispute all of them. Long distance relationships to me is the best way to test a relationships' threshold. Following the above reasons, I will give opposing views;

1. Chances for a guy to cheat are high anywhere he is . From being in different continents to living on the same street, a guy can choose whether to cheat on his girl and she would never know.

2. This is the I find amusing, when the supposed couple were in the place , the thing we should be asking was how many times were they actually meeting? once a month? once in 2 months? Basically the chances of the couple seeing each other would be the same when they are not in the same place.

From my honest opinion, I feel girls make long distance relationships a big deal. Just thinking about the fact that you and the guy are not in the same area just pisses y'all off and so you use that to basically commit your own form of cheating(another topic I will be discussing)

I'm sorry ladies, but this is the truth. For any relationship to be Strong AF (lol) they has to be that long distance period. This beyond all doubt would definitely strengthen a relationship more than ever.

I'll be going in depth on this topic by my next blog. Just decided to give y'all a teaser.

Ciao.

Current ish of the day

Wassup people, the View is back and better. I took a quick break to gather info and release what will be a consistent stream of life issues that are taking the world by storm. I'd like to thank my good followers and hop you continue to stay with me till whenever LOL.

Before I go into today's issue. I'd just like to change a few things. "The female mind" my former blog was dissolved weeks ago, but my content lives on. topics from there are still available and new topics will be posted in due time. I know that this might not be as flashy or consistent as Linda Ikeji(famous blogger) or any other, but trust me with my content and very common topics, it's worth looking at.

Now enough of all that, let's go into the crux of this blog. From my previous blog (caitlyn or bruce jenner), I decided to bring another issue similar to this. Recently, the United States has approved same sex marriage across all 50 states. This has sparked mixed emotions across the worlds; the LGBT community is very please, but other communities (especially the christian community) has been evry displeased with this. Now we definitely know why, because being gay is seriously frowned upon in the christian world. The story of sodom and Gomorrah says it all. But i'm not delving into that area.
What I want to mention is how this rule has affected the christian community.

Since this law was put into place, a lot of pastors have been arrested because they refused to marry gay couples. Why should that now be a crime when the basic principles of Christianity are based on the bible(which clearly frowns on it)? It's still a baffling issue.

I therefore leave y'all with this question . Don't you think the Gay culture is slowly affecting the christian community?

Ciao, till next time.

The courage of transgenders is growing at an alarming rate

Alright guys, i'm back officially after a long break from the blogosphere. As stated in my previous blog, i'll be talking about different things going on in our world today.

First of all, i'd like to take about this Bruce Jenner transition thing. Frankly, I feel it's an appalling thing for a grown man to come out on TV to say he's bi-sexual. I mean WTF is that? Probably I'm speaking on the basis that I'm an African and we frown on this types of things, but I'm going to keep it as unbiased as possible. The real thing i want to talk about on this case is the fact that ESPN is going to award him(or her) an award for courage. WHY???!!! There are millions, heck, billions of people who's actions have made them courageous but ESPN found Bruce(or Catlyn ) Jenner worthy for the award. And suprisingly, we haven't heard of any protest against it. The world just accepted the fact that someone we once knew as a man is now a woman (or in the middle).

In the first place, I see no reason what so ever why a male or female would want to change to the opposite sex. What is the moral gain or benefit of doing such? It's still a wonderment to every living human being outside the well fenced USA.
 
The USA is the most reputable country in the world and some people continue to tarnish it's image. Let's acknowledge the people who deserve that award, Bruce(or Catlyn) Jenner should just sit down somewhere and reminisce on what he has done.

I'm Back and Better

Wassup guys, it's been a while since i posted something new. Transitioning into a new blog takes sometime and planning, but i have been able to sort out everything and in this new blog, I will be talking on general issues; technology, entertainment, sports, relationships and what not(stuff i did in the previous blog). I plan to post on the current issues in this period, and i hope to release stuff that i'm sure will make y'all more interested to read the blog. This time around, i wont be having planned dates, so the blogs will be released hopefully 2-3 times each week (note: this can vary). If there is any issue that any of you guys (my readers) would like for me to add, i will gladly adhere to it. Any suggestions you have on what could make this blog more interesting, feel free to notify me on all my social platforms (Facebook, twitter, bbm, snapchat). It's only when i know what the readers like that's when i'll be able to give them what they want.

Official start date is June 1.

New things are in play.

Ciao.

Friendzones

Lol, this word gets me all the time. I mean, What's the origin of this word? and how did it become popuplar? The word is just as complex as it is, but i'm definitely going to break it down.

First of all, what is the meaning of a friend zone? believe it or not, I'm getting this definition from wikipedia (imagine that!!) It means "a platonic relationship (just friends!!) wherein one person, most commonly a man (totally disagree), wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not" . often times people wonder why they are in the friend zone, so i have narrowed it down to ten reasons i have gathered or witnessed over the years;

• You are related, or a scoundrel (most unlikely)
•  You are trying too hard to be cool (mental state of mind)
•  You are not convinced you are meant for each other ( most common out of them all, it's mostly the girls that have this weird feeling that things would go wrong, Lol)
•  You are being too nice ( it's a controversial reason, but i think that being too nice sends off more of a platonic vibe than a relationship vibe. Just the right amount of nice is required)

Basically, those things are the common reasons relationships are platonic. Sometimes, there could be rare reasons which i don't wanna dive into (mainly because they're too long). But all the same, there is a way to get out of the friendzone no matter what situation you're in.

 So therefore, the best ways to get out of a friendzone are;

• Don't wait too long to ask him/her out or you run the risk of being "friend zoned".
• Don't throw yourself at him/her either though. Never a good idea.
• You should flirt, but don't flirt with other people. Make the person in question feel special.
• And lastly, stop giving out the "friendship signals" (that's a blog coming out tomorrow, try to understand it tho) chances are that the other person, because of this has already thought that the idea of being more than friends is off the table and will just stick to being friends.

Now this is what I call a simple guide to the end of friendzones!!

Ciao.

Friendship before relationships.

Usually, I do not release two blogs on the same day. But the spur of information I'm currently processing is just too much to keep in.

Now, from the title you'd basically have a general idea of what i'm going to write. But i'm also a bit sure that elaboration is needed.
In today's world, we have completely eliminated the friendship aspects of relationships. What I mean is that, we just jump from meeting someone to dating the person. We do not pass through the long stage of friendship. Practically, the friendship aspect is a lot of time and people feel that so many things could go wrong and things could be misinterpreted if the intentions to date are not clearly put out. But i'm here to say that the friendship aspect does matter. It helps to build a strong foundation for serious relationships to thrive through any circumstance.
As we all know, being friends means secrets and important things in our lives are being shared, the friendship becomes a sort of "confidant relationship" where each person confides in the other. So, transiting to dating from friendship would be as seamless as possible. There would be more trust and definitely, the love would be as strong as ever.

"Friendships before relationships" is a great approach to reach the ultimate goal.

CIAO.

Assumptions

wow, wow, wow. It's another time to write a blog. April's ending in a few days and as May comes, so comes the new chapter of my blog (*sobs). But hopefully, I will be incorporating my adventures in the female mind into other blogs. Once again, I wanna commend my readers for the continuous growth in pageviews. Without y'all, writing this would just  be in vain.

There's one thing i've noticed in a lot of relationships today. We all ASSUME. Basically what that means is we just take too many things for granted when it comes to being in a relationship. Relationships are all about allocating and committing to a specific amount of attention and time (because let's face it, we can't allocate all the time in the world to one area). This is supposed to be the case, but what i see today is from far that. A lot of couples seem to just be lackadaisical about the important stuff when it comes to issues such as attention and understanding signals.

In the area of attention, as aforementioned, we can't give all the time in the world to our boyfriends or girlfriends. That would be pure  madness. The key to understanding attention is that it's given wholeheartedly when the time comes. Most times we see a nonchalant behavior in this area, and it just signals that the interest in the relationship is dying or dead.
Understanding signals in relationships are very important. We can never say what we feel all the time, but we definitely show it. Either by body movements, mood and even by the words we say. Being in a serious relationship entails us to deduce or critically think about what's happening in the relationship. Most of us don't do that. We just feel that once the people involved accept the relationship, then the hard part is over. But sadly i'm here to say IT IS NOT.

Thus, I implore all my readers to develop a critical eye when dating someone ( if it's serious). The acceptance to date is just a little step, the huge steps come in after that and so we can never get a break.

Critical thinking is key....Ciao

 

The Break Up

Wassup guys, it's been a while since I posted a new blog. It's really saddening that I couldn't post as much as I wanted to (or as much as I implied), but I will be digressing a lot into the final topics which are going to be as applicable as the other blogs I have written. We are well into the month of April and before we know it, May will be rolling in. I very excited to be announcing that I will be closing this chapter of my blog( a bit sad tho) to expand my horizons in other topics such as music, movies, sports, technology etc. I hope that all my readers will continue to follow me and even more to come. Honestly it's the continuous increase in viewers that keeps me writing, BIG UP TO YOU GUYS!!

Now, obviously that's not going to stop me from writing today's blog. In today's world, we see a lot of broken relationships. Be it marriages, engagements, or just the normal and more rampant " boyfriend girlfriend" matter. Some people don't experience it ( lucky bastards) but a majority of us do. The thing is breakups always happen, but what I want to address today is how to alleviate yourself from the euphoria of a broken heart (assuming you truly loved your partner).  Now there are five post breakup stages that happen in life:

1. The shock
2. The Anger
3. The denial
4. The Non-acceptance
5. The Acceptance

Now, let's briefly analyze these stages. The first stage basically happens right after the breakup has occurred. You're usually trying to wrap your head around the fact that the person you once called your boo or bae (lol) is now just the person's name. Its pretty much an unraveling session. The second stage is the one we commonly see in the breakup situation, because there could be many reasons as to why the breakup occurred, be it the guy cheated or there was no more love or the relationship just fizzled out. In any case, you basically get angry and this stage might arguably be the longest of the stages. The third stage is usually a short phase where you're in complete denial, meaning anytime you are asked what happened or if the relationship is still on, you try to evade the question. This stage i can confidently say happens to everyone who goes through this. The non-acceptance stage is where you still can't wrap around the fact that you guys broke up and thus you wanna try to get back together, but this ultimately fails. The final stage is the only point at which you have accept that IT'S OVER and there's nothing you can do. This is the point when you officially move on.

If you do not believe me, evaluate yourself when you were going through the breakup phase and you'll definitely see what i'm talking about. From my perspective, I do believe that if the person you're dating is "the one" (as the white people would call it) then there would be no breakups. Some people believe that if the person is "the one" , then "fate" would bring them back together at an important time in their lives. What ever the case is, whenever a brakeup occurs, the best thing is to pick yourself up and go through these five stages as quick as possible.

After all, "THERE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE SEA" .

Ciao y'all.

The Persistence ones

Alright guys, let me first of all start by welcoming y'all into a new month. Though it's 8 days over due, I just have to continue to reiterate on the fact that the year is speeding past us. Today's blog, though obviously targeted to females, males can derive a thing or two from this.

Nowadays, I have seen that a lot of our female counterparts are set to a default mode called "deny". If you read my previous blog, you would find out that due to circumstantial things, females have no other choice than to guard their hearts and "brutally" scrutinize men. Normally, this would throw us males off and we would look for an easier catch. But in this face of adversity, there are still some determined guys who are willing to go through any length to get a girl. I call these people "The persistent ones."

Before I digress into this topic, I would like to shed a little light on the word persistence. Persistence means to be firm or have an obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. This clearly hits the nail on the head because it outlines every single thing that is attributed to the persistent ones. I feel this is a very good characteristic for every guy, but the baffling thing is that females can misinterpret persistence for creepiness. Though there is a very fine line between being persistent or being creepy, I want the ladies out there to know to that most of the persistent guys they encounter are truly persistent and not creepy.

Just to be sure, how would you be able to differentiate between these two characteristics? It's simple! Understanding their movement. Truly persistent males would not do anything to hurt the female in question nor anyone in order to get to her . Creepy guys on the other hand would want to go to any lengths to get someone even if it includes hurting someone. 

Frankly, I implore my readers (especially the females) to stay clear of these creepy guys. And as for the persistent ones, give it a good go and see what happens. Circumstances show that a persistent guy will not hurt you before and during the relationship. 

Ultimately, it is basically your discretion.

Ciao.

Obsessions

Alright guys, we're well into the month of March and in a few days it's gonna be April, the start of my spring break challenge. I'm always pleased to write blogs, and that will not end for several months, lol.

Now, one thing i've always wanted to talk about is an issue that is very relatable to all of us. We see today that there are a lot of people (both sexes) who are obsessed when it comes to relationships. Whether it's a past relationship or something they hope to finalize. Honestly, this issue is considered weird on all levels. From my perspective, I feel that no one should be obsessed over someone for any reason.
We see that a lot of people do very ridiculous things because their obsessed over someone. Things such as making their life revolve around the person. This on all levels is very stupid and just plain wrong. And sadly in most cases, people would think that is love. But I am here to tell you that is SO NOT LOVE.
Being in love with someone should never involve you been obsessed over the person. Love doesn't entail doing stupid things just to get the attention of someone. I believe that love just falls in naturally, it's never forced and it follows through seamlessly.

Therefore, I implore my readers who are obsessed over someone to try and eradicate such behavior. Obsessions are basically sinful lusts and are deadly and can affect people in adverse ways. Just be neutral and let love find you, don't coerce it into action.

Ciao.

Ps. The spring break challenge is still accepting people, please notify me via the comment box to indicate interest. Lots of giveaways.

Just come out With It

Alright guy, its another day to write blogs. I hope y'all read  my previous blog which was posted on Sunday. If you haven't make sure you do and be sure to check others, they are all insightful. It's just amazing that we are in the middle of March and continue to emphasize on how fast time recedes.

As you observe, my title today is more of a "call to action" title than a descriptive title. This is because I have observed something that has been striking me for many years and i'm sure it's relatable to everyone.

In our millennia today, we see a lot of females creating this rule which states "that a guy in any circumstance must tell a girl he likes even though the girl likes him". To me, this rule is totally absurd on all levels. Let me ask this question, why would a female like the opposing sex and not inform the person? Are we males supposed to have magic powers that enable us to denote this? I don't think so.
Let me put this into a simple anecdote that is relatable. Let's say I like a girl, yet i am afraid of telling her about my feelings probably because she might like another guy or she's surrounded by other guys asking her out. And fortunately, this girl likes me back, but because of this rule, they keep it to themselves and that's the end to the start of a relationship.

"If you love somebody walk up to him and tell him you love him..." This is how i'm going to conclude this. We shouldn't have any problem confessing feelings for someone. If the result of that is not what was expected, then the simple thing would be to 'Move on"(I'm going to talk on that in my next blog). Let's begin to implore this kind of attitude in our lives.

Ciao

The Special Ones

Alright guys, it’s been long since I posted a blog, due to unaviodable factors. I apologize for that and hope to be a bit more consistent from now on. It’s another beautiful time (thought it's midnight) to get a spur of knowledge to write another insightful blog. The days continue to move fast and sudden,  thus we’ve made a lot of changes in our lives.

Anyways, after talking extensively about love and the intro to relationships, i’d like to dive into the main thoughts and philosophies of the female. For many years, I have observed that females primarily follow one way of dating, assessing guys and reacting to several situations. But now a new era of females have come up to defy that pattern and follow a new type. I call these people the “special ones”.

Before I digress into this pattern, I want to show the typical pattern of females today. The current female setting is very simple, females mainly use their primary assessing sense, which is based on looks and probably “first impressions”(wrote a blog on that, checkout it out). Their guard is easily brought down by this and they do not kick in their secondary sense which judges potential and long term character, attitude, special factors, etc.
But for the “special ones”, they have basically killed their first sense when it comes to boys. Probably over past experiences or preferences. They kick in their second senses which gives a more detailed explanation on a guy and fully determine whether He is boyfriend material. They tend not to show any form of affection for a guy, neither are they wooed by any guy. Basically this is just a fixed situation (i.e I like you or I don't like you). As probably denoted from this, the “special ones” choose the boys they want to scrutinize. Obviously that doesn't mean they like you, it just indicates that you have passed some kind of test into the next stage.

Now, if you have noticed in my previous blogs, I normally take a side on a matter, whether to agree or disagree. But in this case , I stand neutral. Just as no one can change nature, no one can alter the fact that there is a rising epidemic of girls using the second sense , rather than the first. Let’s see where this epidemic will get to.

Ciao. 

Physical Attractions

Wow guys, I cant believe it’s March. It was like yesterday when we were celebrating the new year, now we are in the third month,the year’s speeding by. Sorry, where are my manners. Happy new month to you guys, especially my consistent readers. You guys continue to be my motivation for writing.

Now the first step to enter a relationship or to even initiate a conversation that could possibly lead to a relationship is the “physical attraction.” No matter what we say, we can’t deny the fact that the first thing that got us to talk to a person was their physical attraction.

Basically, we all know the meaning of physical attraction but let me just share my concept. Physical attraction is a mental state where someone is attracted or “drawn to” someone just by their physical attributes, ignoring everything else. Obviously we won’t wanna talk to someone who is unattractive, but hey! It’s a philosophy of life.

On the basis of physical attractions, the success and downfall of relationships is a 40 to 60 percent rate respectively. This is because “looks are deceiving”, we never can tell someones lifestyle, but once again it’s irresistible.

So basically i want to say that though physical attractions are inevitable, let’s try to have a second thought on all encounters. Physical attractions though tempting, can result in detrimental things which obviously no person would wanna face. We should take into consideration the mental attraction accent. This acts as a secondary protection to guard these kinds of detrimental  things from happening, and yet we don’t use it at all.

Let’s be sharper this year and make all relationships count. Physical attractions, though important, are just a blurry vision. Mental attractions are the best way to go in this century. They might be rare, but not impossible to achieve.

Happy New month and cheers to many more to come.

Ciao.

Heartbreaks are just the worst, so I hope none of my readers experience any this year.

Finding Contempt in our relationships (2)

Alright guys, it seems that i did not elaborate more on  my previous blog. So i decided to write a sequel to finalize issues raised on this topic. It’s gonna be a lot short, but every information counts.

I just want shed a little light on my previous blog. I basically generalized the concept of contempt and i raised a point on what has been going on in that area. But as i reviewed the blog, i realize i didn't shed any light on how to really find contempt in our relationships.

When we enter relationships, we have expectations. Things that they want out of their relationships. Its mostly called a “standard”. Now many times , our partners would never meet these expectations and thus we resort to finding people who do. But one thing to understand is no one can ever meet a person’s expectations, it’s just not realistic. We basically have to compromise on all levels to achieve “equilibrium satisfaction”.

Equilibrium satisfaction ( my very own term) is a situation where two people in a relationship have forgone all excess standards and have reached a common understanding in order to move forward in the relationship. The  problem in society today is that people have not fully understood this concept in order to achieve it.

In order to understand this concept, couple must be able to express all their standards straightforwardly and not deviate from it. Then be able to reach a compromise which must be followed in a strict. I propose this as the only way to have the “equilibrium satisfaction” in any relationship.

And so i conclude with this, no relationship is perfect. Everything is a compromise, we have to forgo excesses to achieve a cooperative relationship . We can’t have our cake and eat it.

Ciao.

Finding Contempt In Our Relationships (1)

It’s a beautiful day to write blogs. Waking up in the morning and just getting a spur to write something creative is just the beauty of my blog. I’d like to wish every a Happy Sunday and once again  I apologize for releasing this blog later than scheduled.

Continuing from my previous blog , i have decided to branch to bring in something that is very common in our society today. Nowadays, we see in a lot of relationships that people are never satisfied with their partners and just resort to cheating. This is as a result of a lack of contempt today.

Before I dive into this topic, i’d like to elaborate on the concept of contempt. The feeling of contempt means to be satisfied with what ever you have in whatever situation you are faced with, be it rich or poor. This concept pertains to all works of life, including our relationships. A lot of people today just jump into relationships and in the end cause devastation due to the fact that they don’t have feelings for their partner and thus divert them to another. This is very appalling and me wonder why people get into relationships in the first place.

I do understand that we have standards on what we find in a partner, but these standards can never be fully met because no one is perfect, and thus when we enter relationships we always have to make a compromise to be someone that is close to their standards. But in this century , many people do not understand that fact.

Being in any relationship requires you to be committed and trustworthy. Going into a relationship  is like signing a contract, you adhere to the terms and never devoid it. We should understand the compromise entailed before going into a relationship. There are so many ways to get whatever a person wants without Defining the relationship (DTR).

Thus I implore all my readers to be committed in any relationship. Never waver. And in the where you want to, be a gentleman or gentlewoman and give a clean breakup. Nothing is more painful than seeing other people whilst in a relationship. It’s just maddening.

Commitment is key here, never let go of that.

Auf Wiedersehen (good bye).

First Impressions

First of all, I would like to celebrate with all of who passed through valentine's day successful . Most of y’all were happy while i was conversing with you, meaning your relationships are still intact. Lol . Now that the climax of the whole month is over, it’s time to return back to the outlines of my blog as aforementioned in blog #1.

For many years, we have come to understand that first impressions in every encounter are the basis of whether to continue with a relationship or categorize it as an “epic fail” . Now, I am here to strongly dispute that fact. Though, first impressions might count, they should never be a basis of any encounter , as our impressions of a person will always change.

Why do you think a lot of bad relationships happen in this millennium? It’s because a lot of people show false promising first impressions on the first day, and yet turn out to be something else in subsequent encounters. That is why players can never be caught, because every time they meet a new person, they look as if they are boyfriend/girlfriend material and you just blindly fall in. And in the end, you’re the only person that gets hurt. In reciprocate form, if someone was to have a bad first impression on you, then you would think that’s how the person is, and thus try to evade the person. But sadly, even for more generations to come, we will still be  susceptible to the first impressions.

I’m not saying that we have psychic abilities that would enable us to determine whether a person is good or not, I’m saying that asides first impressions, we can continue to have different impressions on someone as subsequent encounters are made. Therefore, we get to truly know a person only when we exhaustively understood everything about them.

Thus, I implore all my readers to not analyze someone on the first impression. A lot of things could have happened to that person before the encounter, so you have no moral justification to diss the person. Rather try to establish more encounters and understand their behaviors, moods, dressing attitude, etc. It is only at this time when you would be able to understand whether this is the kind of person you want to go on dates with, share info with, etc. This can also be the time when you truly know if someone on the first impression seems loving and kind, and in subsequent encounters, has shown his/her true colors. After all, all what glitters is not gold.

First impressions are always there, try not to think on them.

Ciao.

What's the True Essence of February 14th?

Once again, a big thank you to all my readers who continue to follow my blog. You are basically the reason I get up in the morning and write.

 As I have mentioned in the previous blog, this is the love month and tomorrow is going to be the climax of this month, The St. Valentines Day. This day is supposedly a day where couples express their true love for each other; giving cards, chocolates, romantic getaways, dinners etc. It’s the time when the females get so elevated and the males, usually depressed as they would have to spend substantial amounts of cash to treat their ladies right, LOL. Frankly, i feel that this day will never show true love, not in a million years. 

Love can't be displayed in a day, a lot of things cloud our judgement on this day and thus we fail to understand the true meaning of love, instead we cling unto the "what i can get?" phrase . Let me ask you this, why should valentine’s day be the day we take our girlfriends and spouses out? Why is valentine’s day the day we send them cards and chocolates telling them how much we love them? Can’t all this be done on other days? Ponder on that.

We could as much as take our girlfriends and spouses out every week , send them cards and chocolates every day and take them on romantic getaways anytime in the year. Why does it have to be this day? 

A few days ago, I was discussing with my colleague and i raised up these same questions aforementioned. She said people mostly use the day to make up for what they couldn't do with their spouses through the year. My response was a light chuckle which brought about a sense of utter amusement. To the females, do you think that your man can make up for not telling you he loves  you? for not taking out once in a while? for not sending you gifts , in one day? I think the answer has been inferred. 

Although i wish everyone has a good valentine’s day, ( since the election is not till next month, lol) I don't us to make it a big deal. Let’s view everyday as a day to celebrate a couple’s love . Let’s not hold the day and expect things and in the end be disappointed . Let’s hold the whole year in expectation and re evaluate your love at the end of the year. Not 45 days in the year when there are still 320 days of love showing. For those who will go out, have fun. For those who don’t, still have fun. Even for those who don't have partners, treat valentine’s day as any other day in the year to show love. 

Ciao

PS: Thanks to my insightful partner. Hours ago i was clueless on what to write, But she helped me immensely and thus I appreciate her. 

True Love. A reality? or Fiction?

In the spirit of the love season, after briefly analyzing the concept of love, I have decided to venture deep into the understanding of true love, which everyone thinks is a common thing to have in a standard relationship. In this new millennia, there has been a lot misconceptions about true love. Most people envision the true love pertaining to a typical Disney Movie or the series shown on “Telemundo” . But in the real world, our expectations are far from the realities. 

From my perspective, i think that true love is a reality to an extent and not to the way people see it as . Most of us think that true love is unconditional love. But let me ask you this, can anyone in this world love unconditionally? I don't think. We see true love as something that couples could do anything for whilst turning a blind eye to. This just baffles me all the time

True love, from my perspective is a feeling that has several boundaries attached to it. We can never overlook anything whilst in love. The period we are in love is truly the time we keep a more vigilant mind than ever. We have to understand that we make this “true love” of a thing too superficial and thus causes several unforseen evil to occur. For example, in the case of “Romeo and Juliet” , the famous classical love tale of all generation , they thought that they were “truly in Love” thus overlooking everything which resulted in their death. This scenario can be most likened to every “supposed true love” relationship . 

Thus, in conclusion, I implore all my readers to be vigilant in this period of love. We can never be too lackadaisical in our relationships. We should always take the upper hand and ensure a blissful relationship.

Aurevoir Mes amis.

P.S : the writing of this blog would not have been possible without the help of a good companion of mine. She was able to provide a lot of information used in this blog and thus i applaud her.

Also, as an addition to my writing prowess, i will be adding a random blog every sunday where i talk about random but real life topics. Promises to be insightful as this…..

The Concept of "Love"

 In this month of February, we have the most celebrated holiday of all time. The St. Valentine’s day. And thus, this has prompted me to kick off this blog with the topic of Love. “Love” is something that cannot be fully emphasized in any relationship and scenario, and thus i have decided to take a deep insight into this matter which will run through the month. 

Now before we can fully understand the female mind, we first have to understand the concept of the word called “love”. Frankly, i think “love” is the most used and misconceptualized word i have come across in my modern day vocabulary. In the 21st century, “love” has degraded in terms of it’s weight and effect as compared to probably the 20th century and back. 

It baffles me whenever i hear someone say “ I love you”  because obviously in this modern age, no one is fully understanding the consequences and actions taken to support such a phrase. Which obviously should carry a lot of emotions. We just say it like we say good morning on a regular basis, which is obviously BAD!!!. Why is it that it’s this century that we mostly hear of breakups and divorces? It’s because the average “John Doe" can be going around telling every “Jane Doe” that he loves her, but yet do you think that a guy would be attached to more than one girl if he actually loved any? Certainly not. 

Love is supposed to be a rare thing, and when it occurs , every part of our body is supposed to feel a “tingling” sensation which spurs up other emotions (which will be discussed later). We make “love” today seem mediocre and of no value as many would say “ I love you” just to get something in return . I call this “Beneficial Love” , a kind of Love that is solely based on what can be gotten rather than what can be felt. And this is sadly the case in 60-85% of our relationships. Most times i hear people mention the popular phrase “Love is blind” to conceal all the revealing factors of a “bad” relationship. To an extent, yes, love is blind, but not stupid. We tend to basically love people for their outward appearances, regardless of their values and what they stand for. This can never in a million years be “love” , it just can’t be. 

Thus, in a nutshell, I implore all my viewers to search within their deeper self. “Love” should be translated into a beautiful feeling that is strongly felt on all levels. Let us please not just consider the outwards, but also the inwards. Let us be sure that whatever relationship we get into should be out of a feeling and not an observation. Let us bring back “love” as a deep emotion and not as a superficial and unrealistic thing. 

The future of relationships depends  on this.

Aurevior till next time.

I’m sure that if you are reading this, then you must have adhered to the link sent to you. I applaud you for that. First, of all i’d like to welcome all of you into the new month, not long ago we were celebrating the year and now we are in it’s second month. How fast!!!. 

For many years, we have all wondered how the female mind works, how she relates to the environment, how she loves, how she hates, how she rejects things and  so on. People say it is hard to decode the female. But after six years of close observation, I say YES!!!! It’s very possible to understand how the female works and i have decided to pass my knowledge to people who are willing to share the experience i have, thus bringing about the creation of this blog.

On this blog, i will be going in deep into the female mind. Everything she does and everything she thinks about. For the male readers, you might ask what this has to do with you? Now when you fully understand the female mind, you would be able to hit a home run with all the girls you thought you would never have a chance with and certainly it would certainly reduce fights and “beefing” between couples and friends alike.

This blog will be updated every week, but if the demand is more, i would be updating more days in the week and to extreme cases, every day!!! I know that something like this has been clamored for and thus i decided to step up and take the lead. The full main text of this blog will be available here on blogger.com, I’m also gonna be creating little snippets of this on my BBM channel and whatsapp group. Other social networks will be announced in the coming blogs.

Please join me as we go into the extraordinary mind of the female.

Ciao.